If there’s one person who can talk about long-distance relationships, I’ll be that guy. I started my relationship far away from my girlfriend, and for the years we’ve spent together, we’ve spent several periods apart, sometimes as long as a month.
After all these, I can tell you that it’s possible to stay emotionally connected to your partner, no matter how far apart you are. Several people will say that staying far from their partner made them emotionally distant, but in response to that, I will say they are the ones who did not put in the work to maintain the connection.
I may not know all there is to long-distance relationships. However, the fact that I am still in this beautiful relationship of mine after several long-distance moments tells you that I am someone from whom you can get long-distance relationship advice.
So, if you are already in long-distance relationships or are about to live far from your partners for weeks, months, or even years, I have made this list for you. It contains things you can do to enjoy a lovely emotional connection with them and ensure that your time apart is enjoyable. Let’s get it.
Give Priority to Communication
If even the relationship between friends and acquaintances needs communication to survive, don’t you think romantic relationships will need it even more? You have to communicate with your partner often—read that to mean daily—and thankfully, there is always a way to go about it. It’s only on rare occasions that you’ll find yourself in a situation where you really can’t reach out to them.
You’ll also need to plan your communication so it isn’t random. When I’m far from my girlfriend, we chat all the time, and we begin and end each day with a phone call to kick off the day or talk about the day. Without planning, you don’t know when to speak and won’t plan to make that time free.
To make communication less boring, you can mix different channels. Phone calls, voicenotes, text messages, emails, video calls, etc. And when you communicate, be present. Try not to be distracted, or you will give your partner the impression that they’re not important enough to have you for that moment.
If you and your partner don’t know what to discuss, you can start by talking about your day or asking each other fun questions. You will be surprised how these simple things will open doors to more topics you never expected to discuss. The trick is to be intentional in ensuring communication happens.
Go On Virtual Dates
When you hear the term “virtual date,” I’m sure a picture easily comes to mind. But to be sure your imaginations match what I intend, I’ll paint my picture. But before I do, I’ll establish that a virtual date is like going on a date together, just without each other’s physical presence.
Now, let me paint this picture for you: You’re sitting at a restaurant you’d love to take your partner to if they were there with you, and in front of you is a meal you love. But your partner isn’t across the table. Instead, they are on the screen of your laptop in front of you, running a video call between you.
The picture continues: Your partner is miles away from you, at a restaurant of their choice with their meal, and you both eat together while watching and talking with each other.
Technology has made cool things like this possible, and if you’re not taking advantage of it, you’re missing out on an opportunity to connect with your partner. Take them on virtual dates, make yourself available for this activity, and remember to pay full attention to your date—physical or virtual.
Surprise or Shower Them With Gifts
Gifts will forever remain one of the best ways to show love because they not only show people that they are important enough to get something for you but can also be handy and save the receiver some money. And what’s better than your partner unexpectedly receiving a delivery of something useful from you, the love of their life?
If you can afford to send them gifts regularly or all the time, then it’s a good idea to shower them with presents, but if you can’t, it’s alright to send them from time to time.
Choosing the right gift for your partner may not be as complicated as you think if you listen actively during conversations. Your partner may share a challenge or need—without asking you to solve the challenge or meet the need—but these are clues for the perfect gift.
An example is your partner mentioning how stressed their bodies have been for a period. You may book a massage session for them as a gift. Or they may mention how they always find it difficult to peel potatoes with their knife. You can get them a potato peeler as a gift.
You can also ask their close friends for ideas—well, those that can keep a secret.
Consume Media Together
There should be a book, podcast, movie, or game that you and your partner enjoy reading, watching, listening to, or playing. My girlfriend and I enjoy watching TV shows when we are together, so this may be our preferred media. It’s okay if you don’t have one. It’s not compulsory to have one, and you don’t have to force it, but you’ll find it cool if you do.
Now that you are away, you can maintain an emotional connection by finding a way to enjoy these media together virtually. Thankfully, you have me to give you ideas, and here’s one:
Set times to achieve certain milestones in a piece of media you’re consuming together, and then you can talk about it. A milestone could be finishing a chapter of a book, a level or a game, or an episode of a podcast or TV show. Discussions about it may be about the most difficult challenges, an interesting character, plot twists, new knowledge picked, etc.
Even though you’re apart, you will feel closeness as you enjoy these activities. You won’t just be watching another episode; you will watch it with your partner in mind. You will retain things you want to share with them, and that intentionality is an effort towards an interesting conversation with your partner.
There is also the option of playing games or watching movies together virtually. Many games have multiplayer options that are perfect for couples whose schedules free them to game at the same time. Movie-loving couples can watch movies together at the same time with the meeting app Zoom, the watch party app Teleparty, and several other options.
Make Future Plans
One thing that will keep you and your partner connected emotionally is the excitement of what will happen when you are together again. So when you’re a long distance away from each other, don’t just think and daydream about your future; plan it together with them.
Plan how you’ll meet at the airport, the bus park, or the train station on the day you arrive back in town or when they come to visit you. Plan the places you’ll tour together when you start living in the same city. Plan the activities you’ll do together when you’re alone. Plan your marriage if that’s in the picture for both of you.
Planning will give you something to communicate about, but more than that, it assures your partner of your dedication to the relationship, as we don’t expect someone who is not committed to a relationship to plan the future in detail. This assurance also clears possible doubts that may arise, which can make the relationship less enjoyable.
Express Your Feelings
When you are far away from your partner, you miss them. You wish they were around. You want to eat with them, play with them, cuddle with them, and have face-to-face conversations with them so badly, but you can’t, and it makes you feel bad. This is a lovely way to feel, and you should share it with them.
Sharing this with them lets them know how much you value them and want to be around them. It reminds them that they are on your mind even when they aren’t standing in front of you. These are messages you want to pass across to your partner.
But relationships are not always roses and dance. So, there are also times when you may feel angry at some things your partner does. You also have to share this with them. It may seem like a good idea to keep negative feelings to yourself because you don’t want to have a tense conversation over the phone, but this doesn’t always end well.
If you don’t share these feelings, your partner will not have a chance to work on the issues, which will only lead to repetitions that will frustrate you. Also, dodging these conversations can ignite resentment for your partner, and that’s how you ruin your relationship with your own hands.
Give Each Other Space
I am all for the constant conversations and moments enjoyed together, but you deserve moments without each other. I mean, you cannot be everything to your partner, and they can’t be everything to you, especially when you’re far from each other.
You both need time to do things on your own—do some work, hang out with friends, have some lone adventure, or anything you like. It doesn’t mean you’re not enjoying your partner’s company. Other important things and people in your life also need you, and it’s unhealthy to ignore them or not give them the best attention you can manage because you are distracted by your relationship.
If you don’t create time for other things, you’ll be turning what’s supposed to be a beautiful thing into a problem. You’ll harm your profits if you run a business, lose your friends, and miss out on many opportunities, among countless other things, and you’ll be causing your partner to lose these things, too.
A healthy relationship often demands that both partners have a healthy life outside their relationships. And even though you’ll miss them when you have such space, see it as an opportunity to discover things you love, make more money, and be present for people who care about you.
Long-Distance Relationships Are Beautiful Too
Emotional connection can thrive in long-distance relationships, and I daresay even as much as relationships where partners are close geographically. It’s in the partners’ hands to make it work, and this article was written to guide long-distance couples on how to go about it.
You can reread this article and take notes or save this page so you can always refer to it. As you practice these things, you’ll find that your long-distance relationship maintains emotional closeness and thrives in other aspects.
And if you have a friend who’s in a long-distance relationship, sharing this article with them may just be the best thing you can do for them today. Share the article, and I’m sure they’ll be glad you did.